LaughterGags: September 2013

5 Benefits Of A Bad Date

If women everywhere can agree on one thing, it's that dating isn't easy. However, a bad date doesn't have to mean a wasted evening! We sat down with dating experts and real-life bride and groom-to-be Lindsay Chrisler and Daniel Packard to get the scoop on all the silver linings that can be found on even the worst dates.

1. Get a Wake-Up Call
You've been on bad date after bad date. Instead of sulking around and complaining that "no one good is out there," take time to reevaluate what's been going wrong. "A bad date can be a wake-up call for you to take responsibility and realize why that connection isn't happening," Packard said. Look at your dating pattern and actually write down what you feel isn't working. Maybe it's time to try something new: stray from the guy that is your usual 'type'. Are your expectations unrealistic? Let it be about you building a connection, rather than checking off a list.
Lesson Learned: Change your pattern

2. Learn to Empathize
"When a date is going downhill, it's usually because the guy is struggling," Chrisler says. Men are nervous too, maybe even more than you. While it may not be easy to cut him some slack when he's stumbling through a conversation, Chrisler says it'll make the date more fulfilling for the both of you in the end. "You don't have to marry him, but you can be nice to him and end the date on a great note." Remember, he's going through the same thing as you. Try to not put the responsibility of making the date a 'success' on his shoulders, a common habit of women, Chrisler said. Being open and empathetic will translate towards your future relationships as well. "Treat each date not really as good or bad dates, but as stepping stones towards what you want," Packard said. Dating is a two person game!
Lesson Learned: Don't forget to think about how he's feeling.

3. Get Confident
Nothing is sexier than confidence. If you're ticked off because your date won't give you a chance to speak, don't get quiet and moody about it, a behavior Chrisler dubbed 'resentful niceness'. Rather than stewing silently, change the subject and bring the conversation back to you, so you have an opportunity to share. Chances are, he's just nervous and is blubbering away in order to fill any potential awkward silences. Having the confidence to turn the conversation around won't just make you happier, but it will make him more comfortable, too.
Lesson Learned: Ask for what you want.

4. Think to the Past
Sometimes, it takes breaking up with someone special to make you realize how good you had it with that person. Chrisler recalls a client who reached out to a former flame after recognizing how rare their connection had been. Turns out, he had been feeling the same way. Going on a string of dates where any sort of relationship seems to fizzle quickly can make you identify with what was so special about a past romance—and give you the confidence to reconnect.
Lesson Learned: Sometimes what you've been looking for is there all along.

5. Practice Makes Perfect
As with most things in life, dating doesn't always come easy. So even if your date was a real dud, and it seemed there was truly no way to turn it around, don't think of the evening as wasted. Every date is a chance to learn something new and to hone your conversation (and flirting!) skills for the next time. If you really want to make some headway in your dating life, keep dating—and often! Don't be afraid to fill your calendar with drinks, dinners, and coffee dates: the more you date, the more you'll become conscious of what you like and what you don't.
Lesson Learned: If at first you don't succeed, try, try (and keep trying!) again.

Cheating BoyFriend?

When Emily Gold* logged onto her husband's email with dread pooling in stomach, she was hoping for the best. Instead, she was met with a rude awakening: clear cut evidence of her husband's affair scattered throughout his emails. Love notes, song lyrics, photos of the two of them together, but that wasn't all. The worst was a pro/con list, written by her husband, on whether or not he should leave her. "It was the worst thing I have ever seen with my eyes," Gold said.

She's not alone: according to a 2011 study, 41-percent of women have snooped through their man's phone or emails. Modern technology offers a whole new variety of ways to spy on your partner. Looking through drawers and checking for lipstick on the collar is a thing of the past. According to a January 2013 poll by the Daily Mail, going through your partner's cell phone is now the top reason why cheating and affairs are exposed.

But why do we snoop? When Hannah Rolf's* boyfriend left his cell phone at her house, the temptation was too much to resist. "Of course what girl would not wanna look at everything that was on there?" she told MC. Of course, giving into temptation can have some drastic consequences. When Rolf was reading through his phone one night while they were in bed, she saw that he had been texting quite a few other girls, which led her to end the relationship. All this sneaking around raises a big question: Is it wrong to read your man's texts or emails if you end up learning he's been hiding things from you, or does snooping bring you down to his level?

Snooping may be a breach of trust, but it can also expose some untrustworthy behavior. The most common of this is evidence of cheating. Steamy emails, declarations of love, notifications from dating sites, and worse. Jessica Lee* found naked photos of other women when reading through her boyfriend's text messages.

Sometimes, you just have a sixth sense, a feeling that something is up. When your senses are tingling and a phone is ready for snatching, controlling the urge to snoop isn't easy. Such was the case for Allison Brady*, who became wary of her boyfriend's relationship with his ex. After hearing him refuse to say her name and bitterly reminisce about their time together, she knew he wasn't quite over her yet. When he started mentioning her more-and-more, warning signs went off. Brady's snooping started innocently enough: looking through his Facebook to see if he had added her again. As her lurking continued, she discovered that they had been talking again and were planning on meeting up for coffee. She broke up with him soon after.

While her snooping was instrumental in the demise of her relationship, Brady feels that snooping is sometimes necessary to find out the information you deserve. "I would snoop again only if I felt something was off," she said. "Otherwise, I understand boundaries. I'm not that interested in what my boyfriend talks about with his friends."

It's not always infidelity that women catch when they snoop around. Sometimes, you learn that they've been doing the same thing to you. When Lindsay Young's* boyfriend gave her his email password, she started reading his emails. The snooping didn't end there: When he borrowed her laptop and forgot to logout, she was able to search through his Facebook, as well. She discovered that he had subscribed to her check-ins in order to receive notifications about her whereabouts. Young stressed the fact that if you're going to snoop, you need to prepare yourself for what you may find. "I guess when you're looking for something, you'll find it," Young said.

When women find incriminating information through snooping, as you might expect, they oftentimes won't stand for it, and they act out. Such was the case for Donna Crane*. Crane had a bad feeling about the man she had been seeing. One night after he had fallen asleep, she grabbed his phone and quickly scrolled through his text messages. Turns out her intuition had been right—there were texts from three different women in his inbox.

Instead of confronting him, she quickly wrote back to the other women in his phone, telling them that he was ending it with them, and he was getting serious with another girl. She then proceeded to delete all of his contacts—her own number included. Maybe it's true what they say—hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

But perhaps the best way to satisfy your curiosity is simply to ask. Men with nothing to hide may be more willing to share the contents of their phone or email with you. "The easiest way to find out if your boyfriend is hiding something is to simply ask him if you can look through his phone and if he says no, well then there's your answer,"

Four Step Guid To Turning A Friend Into a BoyFriend

From Carey Mulligan and Marcus Mumford, to Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher, some of Hollywood's most notable couples started out first as friends. But taking a friendship to the next level is oftentimes tricky and can require the utmost of care. So we asked Marie Claire love guru Siggy Flicker to help us navigate the steps ahead.

After speaking with New Yorker Maddy Bloch, a fashion buyer too often caught in the "friend zone," Siggy crafted a step-by-step guide for those overlooked as "just one of the guys."

SIGGY’S Step-by-Step Rx:

Tip #1. Turn up your sexuality and femininity in a way that’s true to you.

Tip #2. It’s OK to go slow. Let the man chase you. It takes three to six months to get to know someone.

Tip #3. End the date leaving him wanting more.

Tip #4. Flirt! Compliment him, smile, and make direct eye contact.

10 Tips to Success

Why why why, do people find it difficult to compromise in relationships? There’s always this tug n pull fight for control, seriously people it’s not worth the effort! Sometimes to remain happy you need compromise, and it really shouldn't be that difficult if you love the other person so naturally you would want them to be happy. I’m not saying be a doormat and lay down every time a situation arises. Just think is it really worth the effort to argue? Would it really harm you if you went along with what your partner wants? Or at least try and find a middle ground.

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